Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Ego's epic journey (part 02)
It's never fun to be the odd one out.
At least, that was what Ego felt when she last left Italy on her search of SuperEgo. It's like, she travels around the world alone, arrives in a foreign country alone, struggles with a foreign language and culture alone, and when she finally meet some people who are kind enough to stop by and help you, it's really a very big relief. Some of this people became more than acquaintances, for they practically invited her into their lives. They ask her out for lunch, invite her over to their house for dinner, help her search the streets for someone tt they do not know at all... they are FRIENDS.
But no matter how friendly and kind these people are, there are still times that Ego felt ill at ease. These times are those tt the topic of conversation steered away from what she can understand, or when during a discussion, she have a totally different opinion about it. And it's precisely the nice-ness of these people that prevented her from speaking up her mind. And it is also at these times that she starts wishing that she can be
LIKE them, so that they can be on the same frequency.
Sometimes such "wishes" invade her mind early in the meeting, and throughout the meeting, Ego will be pre-occupied with these confusing thoughts of odd-one-out-ness. She'll start noticing the differences in dressing, eating habits, and even the slang. It's frustrating actually, because, more often than not, she'll become more quiet, withdrawn, and finally depressed. This will draw attention. And it is attention that Ego, with her feeling of oddness, don't want.
Yes, Ego also recognises her want to be unique. She hates to think that she'll only be one-of-those-foreigners to her new found friends. She wants to show her character, to be memorable, to find a role in the dynamics of the new group. But to do that, she must first feel comfortable among them. She must first fit-in. and to do that, she must show that she IS comfortable and fitting-in to her new friends. it's a continuous cycle, actually.
So, Ego tries hard to suppress these odd thoughts. Sometimes these attempts will succeed and will not show, but the effects will be felt the next time when the attempt fails and all the odd thoughts come barging into her mind. This is when she become isolated, socially withdrawn, and has low volition in all activities, hence making the day unproductive in the search for SuperEgo.
Conclusion, therefore, is to master the art of suppression completelt, so that there won;t be any side effects. And believe me (the author), it's tough, but she's trying very VERY hard.
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Links:Introduction :: The story of Id, Ego & Super-egoThe life stories ::Episode 01 -- Ego's Epic Journey
part 01 ;
02 ;
03Episode 02 --
Id's Chronicles of Daily Living Finale :: The Case of the Missing SuperEgo
è¯å yawned @ 12:47 AM
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