Friday, May 27, 2005
错失的时机
Life is full of opportunities. Yet it is also true that we live our life with lots of missed opportunity. Opportunity to cultivate an interest, to meet people, to fall in love, to change our outlook of life, to change our present and future. We all know that opportunities should be grabbed, yet ironically, we let most slip past us because of a moment of hestitation or indecisiveness. Or more often, by our sense of 'reason' that tells us "now is not the time to do this!"
Like today, which because i felt i should record the show i had already missed half of (becuz i overslept), i didn't pen down the dream i had. It's a loss, becoz the dream had a great plot and is also very well structured that i'm pretty sure i can draw a comic based on its story.
Like a few weeks ago in HK, where i did not buy that duffel bag just because it's too cumbersome to backtrack to that stall (must understand that its 女人街 we're talking about here. So crowded!!!), and now i'm regretting it becoz there's no way i'll ever see it in S'pore (plus it's only HK$20!!!)
Like always, whenever i meet this person that i feel we have 缘分 to (like meeting 3 times in a day at different places), i'll say to myself: 'ok! if i get to meet this person again the 4th time later, i'll go and get to know him.' But it'll end up not happening, becoz i'll either not have met him again, or i'll pretend not to have seen him.
Yet there are also times whereby opportunities are grabbed too soon. It's not like temptation, where you go against reason to get that something. It's more like a reflex: becoz you fear you'll miss it, you grab it once you see it. then you'll start regretting later.
Like a few days ago, i agree to acquire a set of 2nd hand manga from the comic store i frequent, only to come to terms with myself later that i'm actually much more keener on the anime than the manga for this title.
Like a few years back, when i was feeling egocentric and invincible (traitmark of a teenager that i never realised i haf until now), i got into troublesome company that still send chills down my spine wherever i'm near a certain place.
Missed opportunities, grabbed opprtunities, mistaken oppotunities, all these forms what we now know as our past, our present, and will eventually constitute our future. It makes up our reality. It is what we are, and i believe that this is what life is all about!
Life goes on no matter which opportunity we grab or missed. And we only live life once. and since we will still be able to continue with our entire life despite a few wrong choices along the way, why not just do it? 船到桥头自然直嘛！(i know i'm sounding abit reckless here but this is what i'm feeling now la haha)
So, as what Kurogane said to Syaoran in Tsubasa book 3:
别低下头！既然有非做不可的事，那就往前看吧！
May all of us look into our future with hope, anticipation and joy. =)
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AfterthoughtYou may be thinking what the heck am i trying to express in this entry? ... well, nothing! i'm merely trying to console myself for forgetting the wonderful dream i had =)
è¯å yawned @ 3:11 PM
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
nightmare
i had a nightmare.
i was in the Home for the Dilapidated Souls that admits people on a self-voluntary basis. Apparently many non-dilapidated souls, but nevertheless homeless ones, volunteer themselves into this institution just for the sake of having a roof over their heads.
beside my cubicle lives the enemy of my room mate (the rooms are all twin sharing). i'm not sure if that enemy's evil stares has the power of creating the situation that i call a nightmare, but yes, he stares alot.
Nightmare occurs one day when i noticed a colorful moth and a colorful butterfly in our cubicle. i noticed it because both have a rare blue-yellow combination, and also because they are making excessive buzzing noises. The butterfly sticks itself on the door, while the moth on the floor. As i was shooing the moth away, it went under the sofa (don't ask me why a sofa can fit into a cubicle!), and re-appeared with a chain of identical moths following behind it. Looks like a snake, other than the color and the buzz, really. As i was stepping back in horror, i realized to my horror-horror, that the butterfly has also multiplied, and hordes of them are entering through the gate.
I tried escaping, of course, but in a cubicle there's only limited places u can escape to. i grabbed the insecticide and sprayed aimlessly into the butterfly-filled air. it hit one butterfly, but instead of following the laws of gravity and the consequences as stated on the spray can, it flew to my arm and start attaching itself onto me.
I don't know what it was trying to do. Take something from me? or put something into me? it doesn't matter, coz i'd still do wat i did -- shake my hand so violently tt others might think i'm trying to fling my arm off.
at this critical moment of life and death, i woke up to the message alert of my hp. One new message received. it reads: your examination result is: ... ... ...
... ARGH!!! nightmare in reality!!! I didn't expect such a result!!! darn. my average grade point... wat does it mean?? am i at least a B??? shit. argh~~~ no point in gg back to sleep. better go internet check wat does that numeral figure mean.
after sometime, as i was looking at all my semesters' results, and disappointingly noticed the downward trend that is soooo apparent, i begin to wonder, if i follow this trend, my nest sem's results will be...
... i shudder to think.
è¯å yawned @ 8:34 AM
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Sunday, May 22, 2005
心灵 * 物语
好久没有读小说了，英文的没有，华文的就更别说了。碰巧我弟弟最近迷上了“爱情小说”，从图书馆借了一堆可又老是往外跑；我闲着没事干，整天晃来晃去的，终于还是拿起了这本洛心著的《夏飘雪》。
后来才得知，洛心也是《斗鱼》的作者。
所谓[夏飘雪]，就是指夏天的雪嘛！还真是个被滥用到不行的题材。可是读着读着，就是手不离卷。终于能放下书的时候，天已经黑了。别以为我读书这么慢，需要一整个下午。其实我翻了又翻的，也应该把那本书翻上1.5遍以上了吧！
读完后，想了片刻，非常的匪夷所思。我竟然会读爱情小说！以前就算会读小说，也都只限于金庸的作品，或是学校指定的必读书刊。真没想到我读爱情小说也会如此般地投入。
近几年来的第一本书，幸好还蛮不错。突然觉得很久没有滋润心灵了，再加上前几天到K.L.去时老到Borders逛，现在真得非常想到图书馆绕一圈。偏偏这两天都是共定假日，图书馆的闸门都牢牢地锁着，叫我这莘莘学子又如何满足好学的心呢？
唉~
è¯å yawned @ 9:57 PM
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Sunday, May 15, 2005
partial facial palsy
mmm.. issit wat tt's called? or maybe it's not that serious. today all of the nerves innervating the left side of my face is firing excessively. so basically the whole of my left face experiences sudden, random jolts of pain. that includes my eye, occulo-obilaris, my face, my scalp, and my ear drum. lousy feeling. it's not hurting my brain though, so shdn't be migraine. but it might also be referred pain. argh~
cooked thick porridge aka "饭仔" in cantonese, and soup for dinner. unfortunately, both turned out excessively bland. lost confidence in my cooking skills once again.
went to guardian in the afternoon. don't understand how it's a healthcare shop. it's without signboard saying what items are on which shelf; it's also full of sales girls that only know their shelf, and i can't even find one miserable staff that can correctly direct me to find a thermometer. Watsons is definitely better in this aspect.
è¯å yawned @ 10:48 PM
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Saturday, May 14, 2005
touch-down
ただいま！I'm back!Frankly speaking, it's been such a looong time since i've stepped into an aeroplane, and plus having only recently watched 梦想起飞 which made me appreciate the air crew more, i was quite touched by the experience. the most wonderful part of the flight was the lift-off and the touch down, because as the ground recedes i suddenly realised that there are actually 2 layers of clouds in the sky, and we're flying between them. cool. so sad that i can't take photos during lift off and touch down though.
Then there's also the various types of transportation in hongkong. took the MTR, KCR, the ferry, and the tram. buses and taxis as well, of course. but i enjoyed the tram the most. it goes "ding ding" most of the time, and because it's open air, it's breezy and NICE~ ah, and the train system in hongkong, it's actually quite confusing, but i think i did quite well in differentiating which to take etc to get to my destination. That goes a looong way to build confidence to conquer the Japan train system! hahaha~
mmm... did quite a bit of visiting. think spent almost 3 days going house to house. my grandpa is a victim of SARS, and now is staying in an old folk's home coz my grandma can't really take care of him. He's so cute, but he's getting old and frail. Asked me to go back and visit after graduating from UOS, but i think i'll hafta start work straight after graduation eh? so perhaps i can drop by after the japan trip next year hehe.
Anyway, i'm not joining my mum for the malaysia trip tml. turns out that while we are on our trip, my brother came down with a high fever and stayed home alone for the past week. ALONE! with no one to complain to when sick and feeling terrible! plus we finished/throw away any food available in the house before we left, so.... haix. so am staying home to accompany him abit. Accompany him to TTSH A&E tml to check, coz he's having blood traces in his phlegm and 鼻涕.
anyway i got alot of 老婆饼 back, in addition to the order placed by xj. can feast on them when we next meet up, or maybe on the bus as well!!! haha.
じゃあ、終りましょう！またね！
è¯å yawned @ 10:27 PM
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Monday, May 09, 2005
Me again cont
Ah apparently there's a word limit so must seperate post.
And ya about of exploding, i need a place to tent it out ma. Those toidi. Anyway it's supposed to b a 15min session each wat. Wat right do the have for hogging the terminal for so long? Assholes. they dun have internet in china meh?
Ah! I feel better already. It's actually quite shiok to scold pple standing in front of u discreetly.
è¯å yawned @ 5:36 PM
Me again
It's me again. The flight is delayed but this entry is not written from the airport pc... I juz discovered i can blog on my mum's hp! Woohoo!
Anyway i'm still pissed at tt grp of china youngsters. They're still at d pc 4 god's sake! Can't they b abit more considerate? It's obvious tt there r pple waiting 2 use. Wat if they haf urgent need 4 it? Like me who's abt 2 explode frustration!
è¯å yawned @ 5:24 PM
at the gate now
shit. it's a bad start. i'm getting irritated at their behaviour already. wat's wrong with not wanting to take pose for photos at the airport? i just think it's stupid and waste battery.
ar~ den got irritated at how he's behaving also. it's like stress. minor daily hassles are more fatal then traumatic event. it's all the little bits of behaviour tt's pissing me off. shit.
den while waiting for this pc terminal, there's this bunch of china yougsters tt's hogging the terminal. so damn irritatting!!! n to think tt one of them is the same age as me.
argh i think it's a bad omen right from the beginning.
è¯å yawned @ 4:47 PM
May happenings
due to her royal highness' order, here's the last post before my trip. mind you, nothing interesting, but just to have something to read lah!
mmm... as u can see i changed my blog skin AGAIN. haha. coz the previous one seems so heavily concentrated on the left side tt i bue-da-han and changed it out. and as i was choosing a new blogskin i suddenly realised how limited my choices are. there's alot of cute skins out there, but i can't use, because i always write LOOOONG entries. haiz. i think i should stop being so loh-soh and be short n sweet.
anyway, i've taken out the "comments" option, because i see that it is usually under-utilised anyway. (actually it's becoz i met with some probs while fixing tt in, and being sleepy and impatient, i decided to juz take the whole damn thing out haha) ah, and the music, supposed to be a jukebox style, whereby u choose the music u want to listen. they're all in wma or mp3 or wav format, no more midis. but again problems there. i'll look into it again when i'm back.
i'll actually be away for quite a while. mmm... really quite a long while. lemme list my schedule out for u to see how BUSY i am.
09/05 - 14/05:
HK trip. mostly relatives visiting. hopefully i can visit macau =) will be back on 14/05 afternoon, so i'm missing the SHS seminar. Xuanhong says she'll help me get my clinical booklet coz it's easier for her to pass it to me, so pls check with her if she really got help me take!
15/05:
apparently it's a hainanese festival, and my mum is leading a RC trip into malaysia to visit temples and walk ard. WHOLE DAY AFFAIR. and i'm going with her. halleluja
16/05:
rest day. earliest day which i can look at the jukebox's prob, but most prob i'll spend it sleeping haha.
17/05 - 19/05:
Cameron-K.L. trip with XiuJuan and Joanna. Quite interesting tt while there are 4 who are more enthu abt gg overseas during hols, we always only have 3 who are gg. haha.
i seriously think tt i'll be so exhausted when all the trips end tt i may even fall sick. =X i hope not. *pray pray* will also be praying tt i wun get into any conflicts with them when i'm overseas... if not i'll really cry man.
è¯å yawned @ 1:16 AM
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