Thursday, April 21, 2005
Year 02 Sem 02
It's the last day of Year 02 Sem 02, and i'm already only one exam-short of being a student who is supposed to know whatever that a year 2 student should know. It's only right to commemerate today by reflecting on the past sem.
*thinks hard* -scratch head- *think harder* -sweatdrop- *screams inaudibly in the head*
y am i screaming? becoz after much reflection, i realised that i don not know WHAT THE HECK i've been doing over the past sem. wat i can remember is a blur of events passing by me, and before i noe it, i'm here. It's totally projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects after assignments after projects.............
*pant pant pant* it's like i've lost control of my studies, my time, my life. i did not organise my time and prioritise my assignments, because i don't have to! i am FORCED to complete assignments according to the one nearest to the deadline. time is determined by the date of presentation/submission, and is done whenever the group members are free. There really is no need for self management, unless u're talking about management of the emotional/psychological aspect of self. Everything is so fixed, i feel it's not my life anymore.
and yet. this kind of busy life did not enrich me... i had this general overall feeling of dissatisfaction. Because everything is so rushed, the assignments had to be handed up before i am satisfied with them. Presentations are made to meet the bare minimum criteria, and although i am a person who is very critical about the layout and flow of a presentation, i really have no strength to do anything about the imperfections. it's frustrating. it's infuriating. it's also depressing. It left me emptier than ever. wat's there left if there's no life in me?
Yr 02 Sem 01 was not bad, even though i had my first C then. but at least i pursued a healthy lifestyle. i swam at least once a week and squashed once a week. i ate healthy. i slept ok. my stress levels were quite under control. But this sem!!! all my healthy lifestyle habits are gone, and my stress levels basically went pass it's limits, so much so tt my coping mechanism refuses to work and instead chooses to ignore and bo chap. sad, isn't it?
if yr 2 is like this, i really can't imagine how yr 3 will be like, with the OT proj, OT seminar, and SPD sports day.
i'm souding a little depressed rite now, but i know wat to do lah. I SHALL TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE ONCE AGAIN!!! so that at least i know what i'm doing and learning while keeping up with the busi-ness. it's crucial, it's vital. i need suppliments in terms of exercises, information, entertainment etc, as long as they are of interest to me. otherwise i may really lose my way, dry up and unable to continue on this less known road of Occupational Therapy.
è¯å yawned @ 10:06 PM
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