Thursday, April 14, 2005
i'm black.
I'm pretty sure tt if i walk past some fortune teller this week, he/she will most probably stare with awe and tell me: "Oh my goodness!!! your forehead is as black as coal!!! oh no no. not your forehead. Actually your whole self is glowing with a black aura~"
it all started on sunday when i went to the temple to pray. Tried to 求签 for the first time in my life. Qn asked was: do you think tt this course tt i'm taking now is suitable for me? was distracted abit when someone knelt very close infront of me, but i guess tt split second of distration infuriated the gods, coz i got a 下下签. well, being a typical science student i shall only take it as a reference. When i went to 拜太岁 i took like 5 tries b4 he finally agreed to bless me, when my mum, dad, and bro took only 1 try. Fine! i shall STILL take it as a reference.
right after tt, i wanted to go and do hair treatment. end up the shop has moved and the whole storey is renovating. Making a wasted trip is actually quite ok, just tt while walking on the uneven ground, i kicked my left toe into some stone or something. came home n found it bleeding. suay.
mon was quite ok, juz tt i realise i forgot all my jap after 3 weeks of no jap lessons. Tues, walk home half way den huge drops of rain started pouring without warning. was trying hard to protect my toe from the wet, n i would haf succeeded if the stupid wind didn't blow harder everytime i shouted at it to stop.
Wed, left home without my bus pass. ended up p[aying $3+ for transportation the entire day. suay. also there is the episode tt happened during spirituality la. shall not elaborate on tt again. my stress lvl then was up to my forehead le. this week will be worse den my exam week, becoz i only haf one paper on my exam week, but this week is juz plain inhumane. i got splint assessment tt day, and behavior science test + presentation the next day, and a seminar the following day. so when i was hit by the re-realisation tt everbody around me are inconsiderate pple during splinting, i was very very very distraught and depressed. really feel like gg home straight away and cry my head off. n oh ya, i hit my toe AGAIN. suay la.
Today. behavior science test in the morning. studied my last 3 chapters @ 430am. i should have spent it sleeping instead la, coz no matter how, i'll still flunk tt stupid paper. i had NOTHING to write. during the last 20 min i was like yawning and scratching my head hoping tt some answers will miraculously pop out. i think i doze off for a few sec. counted the approximate number of marks gone. it'll be 57marks gone from a 120 mark paper. n i always underestimate somemore. thx alot leh. guess i've flunked the first exam paper in my poly life. juz show how below average i am rite?
n later, i'll be doing tt stupid presentation tt, though abit sorry to my fellow grp members, i think it's total crap. i think it'll flop. but i shall not complain, becoz i did not significantly contributed to the proj anyway. i know i'll do v badly for my leaflet le (the other component tt makes up the total grade for this module), but i think the others will do quite well in tt. Well, at least i'm the only one flunking 2 subj in a row.
of course, i'm aware tt this may be becoz i'm a typical person with negative affectivity personality. yes, i'm aware. i'm probably the most self aware person anybody will know, and i got the OT curriculum to thank. unfortunately, being self aware but not taking action to do anything about it will juz exacerbate the negative feeling of self. so, i think i still hafta thank the OT curriculum for developing such a winderful downward spiral for me. thx guys. u're the best.
anyway, ya. should know how black i am le right? remember to stay away from me this week.
è¯å yawned @ 12:55 PM
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