Wednesday, April 27, 2005

friends

was updating my organiser last night, when i decide to look at my Pri 6 autograph book to check out some birthdays of close friends.

*flip flip* ahahaha! so funny *flip flip* ehx why this person keep repeating "Friends Forever"? *flip flip* oooh this gal has very nice handwriting! .. but mine is not too bad too la~ *flip flip* eh? who's this??? *flip flip* eh? who's this again? she say her best friend is me wor~ how come i dun remember her?

these kinda question marks keep appearing while flipping the book. i was getting abit anxious then, coz i'm suspecting myself to have partial amnesia or something hahaha. sat down n think. my dad must have thought that i'm thinking about a very complex, serious question, becoz for once in this week, he left me alone. (juz leave me alone!!!!)

*ding ding* -lightbulb flashed-! ah~~~ i noe... these gals are my fellow chinese dance troupe members... no wonder i haf litle impression of them... phew. lucky i'm not amnesic.

but then it also struck me how wierd it is. how interesting tt everyone writes "friends forever" and "keep in contact", but had never contacted me once. Well, i'm also a guilty party here, becoz i'm pretty sure i worte the same things in my friends' autograph book, but i didn't contact them as well...

Reminded me of the time in JC. A close friend of mine is Pri sch came to the same JC as me, and we met each other by chance at the staircase. Wah! i'm like super excited to see her. Felt like i wanna say lotsa things to her, but i ended up not saying anything, coz i can't think of anything to say. Subsequently, we'll juz smile when we pass by, and before i noe it, we were walking past each other like strangers. abit sad, esp when i think of all the times we spent in the corner of the canteen playing, hop-scotching, and singing songs during the breaks. of the times we spent doing prefect duties in the morning, of discussing who we don't like in class, and how regretful she was that she, being the one that asked me to put RV as first choice, did not make it into the school. really really sad la.

suddenly it struck me. how many friends have i lost? oh my goodness. wat's with me? i muz definitely have been a lousy friend. how HOW important it is to maintain a friendship! it really requires constant communication, esp when you're in different schools, for without a common point/experience, there's really limited topics you can talk about. it requires initiative to establish contact, to meet up once in a while.

abit regretful, but i really dun think i can save those friendships le. to my horror, i think i'm losing my sec friends as well. it's all because of me lah. i'm those kind of person that can only concentrate on one thing at time. I'm incapable of sustaining different groups of friends, so in time, "older friends" are lost. what a lousy trait i have. i really hate this. darn.

u can say "if so, y not go organise some outings?" yes, but can i really connect people up? i wasn't as out-spoken when i was in pri and sec school. i've never been the organiser of outings. i've always been a follower then. i lack the 号召力 among those circle of friends to get them out to meet up.

issit inevitable tt i'll keep losing friends??? wat a pathetic loser i am in my social life.


華子 yawned @ 4:03 PM

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1 Comments:
Blogger ic3snow said on 11:16 AM

u still hv us wat!!!!!!!

 
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